For the first time in six years I am single for Feb 14th and I am hating it. I loathe the fact that me, as a single person is pressured into feeling like I should be spending the evening with the one I love. Well tough, the person I love is in fact spending their Valentine’s Day with someone else and it stinks.
I’m a mature person and in all of the nearly four months since my long-term relationship broke down I have kept my distance, been incredibly respectful and hardly named and shamed on social media. Now as tempting as that may be on a night in when I’ve drowned my sorrows in a glass of wine or two let’s face facts, I am not feeling the commercial farce that is Valentine’s Day this year.
Look at it this way, it’s a really hard getting over someone when you’ve committed your life to them. So, when things go sour you care for them so much that you do the right thing and try to forget about them. In fact, you spend weeks and months throwing yourself into your friends and work to be productive with your life and just not think about them… and then February roles around and think… uuuggh.
You know what really winds you up when you spend so much time being focused on yourself and forcing yourself to believe that night’s in with your cat and the TV are enough to satisfy you? Valentine’s Day cards, displays, chocolates, restaurant deals and everything else that gets chucked at you. I nearly threw a shoe at my screen when I saw that Google had even done a themed search today. I have self-imposed a ban on all social media and that includes Pinterest (damn themed craft projects!) just to stop the constant reminders that I am alone. My town centre even had themed lights up this year… I nearly wrote a strongly worded letter to the council.
Even when in a relationship we did not find Valentine’s Day to be a big deal, but when you’re single it gets thrown at you from every angle. The only thing to take my disgruntlement away has been my ability to grumble about the Easter eggs on sale as that big sparkly red section as I walk edges me to the other side of the shop covering my eyes and wheezing. Wheezing because I’m trying to breathe past the pain that I am alone, I will forever be alone and no one will ever buy me a card, flowers or stroke my hair ever again.
All in all I have had enough. Just when I thought I was getting on the right track this stupid day rears it’s head and makes me feel miserable. I’m just glad that I’m not forced to buy something for someone and the only messages I sent were to my closest friends wishing them a good day.
The fact of the matter is I’m not happy being single but I don’t want another man anytime soon, the one I had is going to take enough recovering from to put me off of men for a long time. So in the spirit of a Friday night in as a single twenty-something there is a greasy KFC, a big bottle of pop and several recorded episodes of the The Real Housewives on New Jersey on my Freeview box to keep me occupied until the early hours.
Oh and every card, motif and advertisement on the telly to do with today? This is what I want to do to it all.